Tuesday, February 18, 2014


the candle shows signs of hope;

a flame to burn for me.

lost in the dead sea of ether;
all hope vanishes to infinity.

dead and dead again,
back from the dead to live again.

my past etches in my brain;
surface again.

a billion upon a billion lives;
those i've lived, all those i've died.

bursting in one final thrust to live;
into ashes,
into the deep black nothing.

neither dead nor alive. see my soul like new.
burning like that candle;
my death is like,
the times you snuff it out.
and my life is like, the times you light it up.

i'm burning the candle at both ends with a blow torch.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Life After Death: The New Life

I'm standing in line at the intake booth for the departed, i've been awake for forty-five minutes and spent ten minutes in line. It looks like if my paper work was filed properly my next life should begin in less than two days time.

I've heard whispers that the world has changed since I left it, almost two centuries ago, I hear they need good strong people that can make a difference in a world of hostile and sometimes downright aggressive people.

Standing here now, I see five people in front of me, at least I'm stable, the woman in front of me is in tears and doesn't stop sobbing but for a minute before breaking down again. At least the line is moving, I wonder why I slept for so long? Two centuries of total rest is a long time.

Ah, the line has moved again and now it's down to just three people in front of me, I'm looking forward to a new life and all the times that come with it, good and bad. I've been doing this for almost as long as I can remember, living life on earth and sleeping for a while in death before coming back to earth to live again. I seem to recall it was four ages ago, that's ages of the earth, nothing you can relate it to in terms of years, it's a long time.

I've seen people in this line often, never anyone I knew personally; there must be a lot of people in this place. Looks like the line has moved again, I should be getting my paper work when the woman in front of me steps before the assignment operator, that's the person who keeps the schedule for new assignments.

I wonder how they keep this place so clean, it's always looking like a cleaning crew of a thousand just finished a through detailing of everything. No, it's not heaven, it's just a gateway to a new life on earth.

Ah the woman in front of me just stepped into the spot to discuss her arrival to a new life, she's stopped crying, maybe when she read her paper work she got good news. Looking to my right the second attendant is reaching out his arm to hand me mine. I reach out and take the paper work, it's stamped with a green circle with a number in the center, the number is the serial number for how many lives i've lived, looking at it some people get overly impressed and think too highly of themselves. To me it's about the quality of life I have and not the number of lives I get to live. Besides when wars come it usually takes me fifty to a hundred lives to see it through before things really become peaceful again. My number is a modest five digit number, it's a good number because it means I'm going to get to live again.

Sometimes people don't get an assignment, which usually means wild life detail, meaning they have to go through the entire cycle of animal life from start to finish only becoming what ate them last. It's hell. They don't get a number and the stamp is in red ink on the paper work. It looks the the woman in front of me just finished and she's not in tears, maybe she got a good life. I hope so. As I step forward to the attendant I hand him my paper work which he opens, and begins to read, he looks at me, looks at the paper work, smiles ever so slightly and says, "Your on the two o' clock train for planet earth, looks like they need you this time around. Have a good life." he hands the paper work back to me and I step through the gate to the boarding area, I won't have time to look at the assignment until after I get on the train, right now I have to find the boarding area for the train I'm scheduled for.

Walking through the crowds that are lined up, along the hallways it looks like many of these people are all getting new lives on planet earth, anyone on wild life detail almost always goes against their will, it's not the kind of thing you forget.

Looking down the hallway nearly half way down I see my gate, it's marked with green lights and has a number on it, I look down for the first time on the paper work to read the number below my serial number, the number for the gate to the train, it's number seventeen, how interesting I'm scheduled to be born on the seventeenth into the world. Most new people wouldn't know this, i'v been through this a few times, hell i've been through wild life detail twice.

I hear the bell, and the doors open letting people who were lined up in front of gate seventeen, they pour into the landing area only to see the train hasn't arrived yet. But it's coming. I walk in and hold my paper work in my left hand and for the first time reach up to touch my face. I don't feel anything. It never ceases to amaze me that this place is real. You can't touch anything, not even if you tried.

That must be the secret of how they keep everything so clean. In the distance you can hear the train coming in, it's a low rumble that sounds like a thousand engines and a million wheels. It's odd, this train will be taking people up the line as they are born in different years, people never go backwards, but they do make stops in the future. Looks like there will be a few hundred people on my train, being that I'm in seat two hundred means my stop should arrive near the end of all the other stops.

Looks like I'm going in near the end of this era and the end of a world. Those are always most difficult times for everyone. This happens to me a lot, they only put me in when I'm really needed and it usually comes at the end. Hate to miss all the fun with times in between. I have no memory of my last life, it's been blocked from recall in this place. It's too stressful, they can't have people breaking down in puddles on the floor, the clean up would be too expensive not to mention people wouldn't go back if they knew how bad the last time was.

I take a spot near the end of the line and stand with my back to the wall while the train pulls into it's landing zone. Looking down the rows of others like me, it's strange to see them. They might have been people I knew, not likely though; these people look fairly fresh, I'm sure some of them had to be helped into the gate being that they were unsure which train they were on. Everyone that lined up is fairly new.

I look up and see the train is standing waiting for the conductor to open the doors. There isn't any passengers on the return trip, no one ever gets here via train. As the conductor opens the doors, people who are totally unsure of themselves or where they will sit are moving forward to finding their seats. I'm going to wait a few minutes, looking at the wall where the digital clock is printing the time in green ink shows that we have one hour before the train will move an inch.

I might wait ten minutes. It's not likely anyones assignment on this train will change, that almost never happens. Just hope my assignment is good; I'm looking forward to a new life.

The line moves as people shuffle into the train holding the only thing that matters until they get to their next life, their paper work and instruction for their next life. I can hardly wait to read it.

As the crowd has boarded the train I go to find my place, entering the train and looking down the right side of the train for the seating chart. I have to look at my paper work again to see I'm in seat two hundred I walk down the isle and smile at other passengers. Some of them are reading their paper work, this is one of the places people could have a nervous breakdown.

Anyways I find my seat with little to no trouble and get comfortable, not difficult to do. Looking at the clock on the back of the chair in front of me I see it's thirty minutes until two o' clock. I take my paper work out and look at the front of it, and as I do so the doors to the train are closed and the conductor makes his all aboard speech. It's about ten minutes later, after everyone has made sure their on the right train, the conductor wishes everyone a happy birthday, welcome to the seventeenth via the express route.

Now I unfold my paper work to see about two pages of detailed information about my next life. The top is stamped with the train time stamp for departure from the train and arrival into the world. Mine says 5:50 AM, uh! It's one thirty now and my stop doesn't get here for over fifteen hours.

This I can deal with. I will need the time to plan my life based upon the assignment that has been given to me. I read it once and think about it a bit. I read it twice and think about what needs done. The train begins to move, where rolling now. I hear the whistle blow seventeen times and and were headed for a new life.

The hours pass, passengers have no choice to dis-embark, their not given an option. It just happens. Could you imagine the delays we would have if people were given the choice to get off the train? No one would make their stops. It would no doubt be a huge mess and total waste of time. This system works at least.

It's been ten hours I'm tired from sitting, my assignment weighs on me. So much to do. It sounds like times will be tough. At least their isn't a major war taking place. It could have been worse.

Things are going good enough. Everyone has stayed stable. It's never good to start a new life in a major tizzy, the people that have been here before know this. A few of the new people are still laughing over the conductors speech. That's good. They won't know what hit them until it's far too late.

The hours roll by, and my stop is next.

Chapter One - To Error Is Human

The computer had been spitting out garbage for the last half an hour, the computer operator noted that to really screw things up requires a computer. They used to keep track of people on paper with check boxes and roman numerals. Now days the computers were keeping track of everything and only printing reports as needed. However the last few weeks it seems every report was just a garbage mess, they didn't make any sense. The man who operated the computer called tech support and asked someone to come in and tune the reports again so they could make sense of the last months reports.

Alex isn't the computer operator, he isn't even the tech support. Alex is amber's boyfriend unofficially and off the record. They meet in random places and ask each other for a name and find some excuse to go off and have fun when their not riding motorcycles together. You see both alex and amber live in a time when dating is not permitted, they are both to be married to different people by a pre-arranged system that is way out dated. They do however love each other, so it's all good as far as they are concerned.

The computers that keep track of who and where people are works off a twenty-seven digit pin in the mobile phone everyone now carries. People are tracked based upon proximity to each others phones, and the reporting detects people that spend too much time together. What most people don't know is that amber is a computer hacker and alex built a box that scrambles the twenty-seven digit pin code into a different number every time their phones enter a hundred foot proximity.

Alex figures they can see each other a few thousand times before they have to either get new id's or figure out a way to get married. Amber keeps track of patterns to make sure things stay random and chaotic, alex makes sure the bikes are tuned and in tip top shape. The computer operator doesn't know it, the data being spit out of the computer system in number nine south west is accurate, but no one in their right mind would believe it. Amber's program makes sure that the reports always show her leaving just five minutes before alex ever enters the area. Sometimes it's true if you count where alex was a week ago and where amber is now.

Alex is headed north by north west, amber is headed west and fast. At over a hundred and thirty miles an hour she's the fastest thing on the road; maybe except for alex who is doing one ninety eight.

Alex in his spare time works as a water garden sculptor, which his clients pay premium prices for his service of knowing how to create the most "Zen" garden with koi imaginable. His current project has been on the clock for some three thousand hours, he spends his time putting the perfect finish on the black onyx that makes the water falls look like black ice. Before he's finished he will have used 1/2 ton of black onyx and about 2 tons of rock and pebbles in a ten thousand square foot area with a large koi pond at the bottom.

Amber's family is independently wealthy, old money so they say; amber spends her time in books, writing letters to friends, and dreading her upcoming marriage in just two years. She's got no idea who they have her paired with and she doesn't want to think about it, all she cares about is seeing alex again and riding on her motorcycle. Alex hasn't received his notice of marriage, however he's due for it any day now.

Karen and the Hibachi

The hibachi wasn't the problem, she had lived with cooking her meals some five years on the hibachi that worked great. What most people including her family didn't know was that she lived a secret life, deep down inside somewhere Karen is an anarchist. This wasn't much of a problem, she knew the rules and played by them like the book. What comes to mind and where the problem is, that book her aunt gave her some four years ago, the one entitled: "A young woman's primmer on becoming a lady" just the thought of such a book in her present state of mind was enough to send rage down every vein in her body. Karen was the kind of woman that rode motorcycles, carried a single edged knife in her front pocket, and generally caused trouble for people who weren't intellectually armed.

The thought of the book her aunt gave her seems to always make her mad, her real friends come over and see the book which always gives them something to poke fun at her about, today has seen it's last beam of light. Karen looks through her bookshelf at the books that she is proud to have bought and own, about a hundred books from notable authors. Yet the one that grated her nerves she had put under the sofa in the hopes it would simply disappear. Today she was cooking prime rib, and then she was most defiantly going to cook her book in revelry.

Twenty minutes later the prime rib was fully cooked and turned out nicely. She wondered if she felt like eating first and then turning the heat up to sear the pages of the books she hated most. She figured her appetite would be best if she cooked the book first and ate second. Might even make the prime rib taste better she thought.

The Space Disaster

"The launch is scheduled for T minus five minutes." the project coordinator said into the bullhorn. Jack looked at his watch and noticed that they were running twenty seconds late; not a good sign for this kind of project. It had been ten years in the making, the first trip outside the solar system using dark energy as fuel.

It was considered by some that the dark energy would be safer not to mention the fact it's a few thousand times faster than conventional rockets. Jack who was to pilot the ship would be the first to make such a trip. They assured Jack that everything would be tolerable, the testing in the labs showed no signs of danger to the mission or human kind.

The time for doubts was two weeks ago before the project was given the final green light; now they are 100% dedicated to moving forward regardless of being right or wrong. This project means everything to Jack and his crew of a hundred and three space cowboys.
"We're looking at T minus three minutes." the project coordinator said this time in the PA system that was also piped to the crowds outside the launch site. There were several thousand people outside to watch this launch and billions of people watching television anywhere possible.

Jack and his team made the necessary preparations last week, the final check list to be followed during the launch sequence. Right now there on line number 222 which is the point of no return for Jack and his crew. Once the quarks are released into the dark energy booster the ship must take off or risk blowing up.

Jack who knows he has a limited amount of time says, "Were on line two hundred and twenty two. Should anyone have reason to abort the mission, speak now or forever hold thy peace." The line was silent. Jack waited five seconds and flipped the switch to release the quarks into the dark energy booster. 'Now the ship will lift off regardless of the count down.' Jack thought to himself.

This left just five lines in his checklist, he waited for the ships computer system to show the temp of the dark energy booster; the digital LED from the computer read: "330k" the dark matter would reach "500k" in just ten more seconds. Jack waited. "Were looking at T minus one minute for lift off" the project coordinator said into the PA system.

Jack thought, 'less than that' as the dark energy booster reached max temp and Jack flipped the final switch which ignited the dark matter, quarks, and oxygen in a blast that lifted the sixty ton space carrier from the ground at a rate of a hundred miles per second.
The crowds weren't disappointed, the show was unbelievable. One second the space carrier was on the ground the next second it was in outer space. Mission control was still counting down from nineteen, someone had the brains to turn the countdown off due to the fact Jack had jumped the gun so to speak. Guess he was a bit antsy to get going, maybe it was the fact they were twenty seconds behind schedule and the time wouldn't wait.

Once in orbit of the planet, the crew could plan for a long haul space ride of over a billion miles, for which they would release the first booster into outer space and really light up the second dark matter booster. Check lists were followed, lights and switches were turned on and off as needed, everyone was alert and awake.

Jack was on the com link, "Please prepare for separation of first and second stage boosters, be sure we only disconnect stage one booster." Check marks were made on paper and knobs turned to the right spot, plastic shielded switches were uncovered and switches flipped to on. Jacks crew chief Dan was on the com link and said, "Are we ready for separation, we show the green light and need verbal conformation on this one." Kate the ship specialist looked at her checklist and then the instrument panel. She double checked it and said on the com link, "We have no problems in separating the stage one booster. Your a go."

Dan looked at Jack and says, "We're good to go. When your ready." Jack checked the temp on the stage one booster once again, it looked cold enough. Jack turned the com link on and said, "Releasing stage one booster now." he waited five seconds and flipped the switch, the ship didn't bounce an inch when the stage one booster was released.

"Crew, please prepare for ignition of stage two booster. Please double check our flight sheet and the instrument panels, so we don't have any screw ups. Thanks." Jack signed off and closed his eyes for ten seconds. 'This is the part were we find out if were any good.' Jack thought to himself.

Jack got on the radio and spoke with mission control, "Looks like were good to go, stage one booster has been released and were looking at lighting stage two booster now. How did the launch look from earth? It was hell of a ride for us!" mission control came back on and said, "Good work guys, looks like a successful launch to us." Jack opened the radio link again and said, we will call you back after our next separation." Mission control said, "Roger that."

The flight team made the final adjustments for the second dark energy booster to be lit up, Dan looks at Jack and says, "were looking at less than two minutes." Jack went through the check list and flight plan of how to light the second booster.

Two minutes later....

"Preparation of dark energy stage two booster complete, all checklists are go." Kate confirmed as Jack reached out and uncovered the switch that would ignite the stage two booster, 'I have an awful feeling about this.' Jack thought to himself, he opened the com link and asked, "Anyone think this is a bad idea?" the line was silent, he waited a full twenty seconds and no one said a word. With that he committed to flipping the switch and when he did.

The view from earth told the story best, thank god we didn't all burn that day, there was a fire in the sky; all space was on fire and burning. It didn't last longer than two days, the whole universe actually burned down, yet some how stayed afloat. Now the sky is yellow we shall never forget the men and women of space carrier #2048.


by Edger A. Guest

This is courage: to remain
Brave and patient under pain;
Cool and Calm and firm to stay
In the presence of dismay;
Not to flinch when foes attack,
Even though you're beaten back;
Still to cling to what is right,
When the wrong possesses might.

This is courage: to be true
To the best men see in you;
To remember, tempest-tossed,
Not to whimper, "All is lost!"
But to battle to the end
While you still have strength to spend;
not to cry all hope is gone
While you have life to carry on.

This is courage: to endure
Hurt and loss you can not cure;
Patiently and undismayed,
Facing life still unafraid;
Glad to live and glad to take
Bravely for your children's sake,
Burdens they would have to bear
if you fled and ceased to care.

The Pebble.

The Pebble.

The pebble

lost and forgotten in the sea, upon the mountain perhaps never seen.

still worth notice; even in the rain.

the broken pebble will never heal,
yet it goes on in anguish, awaiting to be dust.

thrown down stream through powerful waters,
the pebble drowns time after time, wishing for a breath of air.

until there is nothing left of that pebble it shall endure;
and upon becoming sand or dust those too shall endure until the end of all things.

My Zen Poem


zen is hello before goodbye,
 it fills the many years of friendship
 and empties many years of loneliness.

zen is in all you do; it is without that which you don't do.

it is the full bucket of air which you carry to get water.

zen is like knowing the earth,
 while knowing ones self of neither life or death.

it is the the drop of water from the last snowflake to melt.

and yet it is all the snowflakes and all the drops of water,
 filled with ideas, we drink from within an attitude.

Dear Goth...

 cold black night, awaits

 walk among the tomb stones in the rain

set before you a pillow of dark thoughts
night terrors go hand in hand with loneliness
 you wouldn't want it any other way.

morbid thoughts come with the territory;
 no one that thinks and has lived before
  would disregard death.

you would live and die a billion deaths
 each time for one more shot at life.

it's not life you hate
 or god if you believe that way.

know the moon; 

 it's phases and times.
  note the cycle of dreams in it's shores.

it's the lies the world wants you to believe.
 those lies you hate.

fire within the heart.
 burn it into the tomb.

listen in patience.
 never waste words on those who will not listen.

those icy hearts are not ours.
 you wouldn't trade your compassion for a dime.

befriend those without friends;
 beware of those with too many friends.
 beware of false friends, those who lie.

in the humble places of darkness, 
 dwells the greatest of minds.

sometimes we look like normal people;
 yet the well of dark thoughts runs deep.

there are four enemies;

i know you will stay true; I have hope in you. like the truth
 that a rose will always fade.
 you always come back to balance the darkness;
  and tell those that lie 

   to shove it!!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

in the spirit of beowulf

From across the oceans upon stormy waters arrived the men of fame. The legendary tronwolf introduced himself saying, "We are geeks, programmers from old, we have come from the grid to rid your land of a monster." the wise king replied, "How can you rid our land of these windows?"

Tronwolf replied, "We shall go through the matrix and fight them at their source." The king thought about these words a long time before saying, "Tis certain doom to enter the matrix from here, even for a hero."

Tronwolf from the fold in his armor brings forth an install disk and says, "We've brought with us the installer for Macintosh OS X, behold!"

The great and mighty king could have cried from joy that a hero has come from the grid to rid his land of the monster windows. "Oh tronwolf, should you purge our lands from this monster, you shall be remembered always as a hero."

Tronwolf replied, "Tis not fame we seek, nor your gold, if we die it shall be for glory."

Saturday, July 6, 2013

A Day At The Races

Fluid, H2O; captured between the elements. just a few drops, try to imagine them racing to the finish line; waiting for their prize. In a world where film photography will be forgotten this image shows a bit of history.

Seems these days film photography is being left behind; how fast things change. The image shown here is of a film reel used in processing black and white film, I think it's something I will miss in the years to come.

Everything has become more instant than interesting; I remember when it took hours of effort in the dark room to get one good print, digital photographers have only time with photoshop to make a great image. Not that there is anything wrong with digital photography, but the experience is very different.

There was a feel of craftsmanship to film photography, something you could point to when the power went out and say look it's still here.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

- Zen Saying: Updated

To the swords man; show him your sword.

To the man that is not a poet, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR POEM!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The next space mission: updated

Install permanent high power laser(s) on moon that will always be on. point the laser vertically with the solar system as high powered as possible. those searching for life in this area will find the light beam and discover the human race.

with this configuration it should create two circles. one of our general location, one that pin points our exact location. it requires two lasers of different color and strength. will explain further next update.

Get Fedex to deliver and NASA to install.

this is only if we really want to be known outside of earth. (maybe we don't)

think about it.


As every flower fades and as all youth
Departs, so life at every stage,
so every virtue, so our grasp of truth,
Blooms in it's day and may not last forever.
Since life may summon us at every age
Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,
Be ready bravely and without remorse
To find new light that old ties cannot give.
In all beginnings dwells a magic force
For guarding us and helping us to live.


Herman Hesse
The Glass Bead Game

Monday, December 26, 2011

Digital Ink Shortage

Scientists Warn of Coming Digital Ink Shortage
we've long taken the use of colors on computers for granted, now something strange has begun to happen. web pages are being rendered in black and white grayscale. we did some research on the problem only to find out digital ink has been outsourced to china.
while scientists and computer hackers are busy trying to find out how to load digital ink into their computers, it's becoming clear the problem isn't just going to go away.